Friday, July 21, 2006

Applying Love to Everyday Life Situations and Feelings

Hi readers! :D
Thanks for staying with my blog, I really appreciate your readership and comments, especially those whom have being helped greatly by this.

Moral questions:

Sometimes we may feel vindictive, to hurt back, maybe even feel to kill, someone because they did you something, because you're angry at them, or for some personal gain, or because they did others you know something. But is this right? Is this love?

This is wrong, it is not love to seek revenge, even if they did you something... however, it also would not be love to allow yourself or others to be hurt or abused whether physically, mentally or emotionally and to let injustice happen. It is fine to not tolerate that abuse by stating so and protecting yourself via leaving or stopping your aggressor. But you should be focused on stopping the attack and preventing attacks in the future, seeking truly fair and compassionate justice but not getting back, not revenge, nor seeking to harm the person or kill them. It would be efficient, but most evil, to kill someone to stop them from hurting you unless they were out to kill you, and even then, other means like imprisonment are much more compassionate unless even in jail or with the possibility of escape they are far too dangerous. But those are rare exceptions. Most people can be restrained if not reasoned with, and a fair deal can be reasoned with if you come with open palms and reasonable rather than aggressive and violent. However of course they are truly malevolent and no reasoning will change them, only stopping them via restraint, injury or death will put a permanent stop to them threatening your life.

Problem is many of us let our emotions go out of control (including myself), and some of us just because we have such dark, hateful or unforgiving hearts, go past protection and justice and into revenge and vindictiveness which is wrong and usually can be realized by being completely out of proportion to the conflict. Know this difference and avoid vindictiveness and revenge like the plague. Try not to condemn, critize and accuse but express your own feelings in non-violent conflicts and encourage others to do the same, in violent conflicts try to diffuse and defend yourself as necessary but not excessively if can be helped.

It is love for yourself and the people who care about you to defend and prepare yourself, it would be most foolish to allow or encourage yourself to be hurt, such as walking along lonely dark streets alone, especially in dangerous neighbourhood, or going someplace where they have been problems or having sex with many partners. And it is love not to go looking for such trouble by doing such foolishness. Be wise, the best defense is prevention. However you cannot prevent everything and sometimes if something is truly important enough/helps someone enough to take a risk then OK, but minimize it still. Weight it. e.g. Love for someone who also values their own life and yours more than say, a murderer (who has no value or respect for your life) e.g. Getting your friend out of a dangerous place/situation, but don't dillydally there, limit your exposure.

Now honesty. Many people see it as not lying (and thus doing love by not hurting/deceiving). But it's more than that.

It's about if you don't like something someone does to you you say it to them politely but frankly, you don't hold it in until you explode or play games or hurt the person back. None of those are love, they all hurt others and yourself in the end. Be honest and don't let any woman or man mentally terrorize you by threatening to leave etc. or let terrorize yourself into abuse by feeling you "need" this person and fear losing them. If they love you they will understand and respect you and you should them, if they don't then why have someone who doesn't really value you around? Don't tolerate it unless they are wiling to obey your rules of respect WHILE AROUND YOU. I add that because it is not right to try to take away someone's free will either and force your rules on them, although you may advise out of love, ultimately they have to make they're own choices and should be able to have different rules to you, but remember it's always your choice to be around someone or not and vice versa if you are too different. But while you are in someone's house or place, love should tell you to consider and respect their house rules, or else don't go there, and when they are in your home they should try to do the same, or don't have them. Similarly with your relationships, don't be abused or abuse. Men, women, friends etc. set down your rules of respect and comply or peacefully part company. Of course be compassionate and reasonable.

This is also why if you commit to someone (and sex should be a commitment btw, I mean having a kid from it certainly would, and there's AIDS and God saying it's purpose is for love/commitment) you should and others should respect that commitment. And while I don't certainly don't agree with breaking commitment off in most circumstances, if you are going to be with someone else, break it off upfront, don't go behind his/her back and cheat. Why hurt him/her so? Save that level of hurt. Are you trying to have both? Isn't that selfish? And even if you wanted both, like Old Testament polygamy, why are you not stating so upfront and asking both for commitment? There would be far less hurt knowing upfront and you would give him/her a honest understanding of what you are offering to accept or decline, rather than deceive and hurt him/her.

As for casual sex, I believe that is hurtful to all involved as scripture would describe. But also read this and make your decision concerning it. But I firmly believe it is harmful by being devoid of love and just using each other's bodies for selfish and fleeting pleasure, and many times creating destructive, hurtful complications. Emotional and Physical.

On the other hand, sex and affection that expressed love and enhances and reinforces your commitment to one another is a beautiful thing, I love to see that kind of sex and love in shows or anywhere appropriate instead of say, casual slam bang sex, in out machinery with no real purpose and good intent. Not even thoughtful procreation, much less love.

Don't hurt others. Especially not to pleasure yourself.
Help others whenever you reasonably can. Genuinely care. Sacrifice somewhat, but also Help yourself, be joyful and don't be self destructive. That's love.

With anything, ask if it's hurting or helping others and yourself.